wooo.

This is stupid.. post after post.

This is my fault.
To expect things out of people who I can't expect anything out of.

I was guess I was too spoiled by my own family, and then somehow expected that same unconditional love from others. And instead of giving back to my own family, I give too much to others who probably won't do the same for me.
How foolish.
My mom was right all along.

I'm done with this...
I'm not a happy person.
So I'll have to work on that first before I exhaust myself giving and wasting it..
I'm not a perfect person. And I'm bitter. And I'm selfish. And I'm tired of this.
Maybe this is a mistake, but I'm tired. I just need to close my heart off.. because I'm too fucking sensitive for this shit. yeah it's not right.. but I'm tired of being dissappointed. And the only people I can ever think that haven't disappointed me is my own family.

I'm going to work on giving back to my own family, really the only people who ever truly deserve this....
I mean I don't regret anything, and everything I have done and given up has been worth it.
I appreciate.. all others have done for me. But nothing will ever to compare to my own family's love, and what I should have been giving back to them I been giving to others...
I will not make this same mistake.

Call me selfish. It doesn't matter anymore.
If anything I'm probably being overemotional or something again. Yay. But whatever.
I will rely on my parents and love them back as I should have.. because they one of the few who won't disappoint me.