whatevaa.

1. Whatever, I'm so much not an asian stereotype. Expect for how much I suck at pronouncing and spelling and the english language, and maybe how obsessed I am at comparing myself to others. I hate math.
2. When I complain about shit that doesn't deserve pity(what I want). In fact it's embarrassing.
3. I think deep down I still feel like I am being added up of my worth by others because of where I go to college? Especially in asian community. I guess when I get into big asian community I go back into to my old, shy, pathetic, very insecure self. This is depressing. This is pathetic. Just get over it already...
I'm such a twisted person.
I don't want to be that type of person anymore, or ever ever everr again.
I probably would have died in the bigger asian community.... in GA.

Ugh.

I wonder if I give too much... if I put too much effort into giving things. Because then I wonder why I don't get the same type of giving back. Yes I'm selfish. And feeling sort of bitter right now, feeling more sad right now. Out of sorts. Maybe I should just stop caring and trying to give so much.

I'm.. tired...
I don't want to think about anything. I don't want to any of this work... most of all don't want to do this math. Maybe it's because I just don't get it, but I can't take Discrete math... I.. it's so hard to wrap about my mind about it.. and it just ... and no matter what i seem to make the same constant grade. probably because i didn't study enough, and that's because I probably really really dislike it... thus my own fault.
People in that class talk to each other so interested about ... all this.. stuff.. that I don't get and probably am not interested in.. so dont belong in that class..

I'm ranting.